I keep thinking of this guy who was on Dr. Phil’s show last week. He was this band dude who didn’t want to grow up; he lives with his girlfriend and they have a child and she’s concerned he’ll never come around. Hence, her reason for writing to Dr. Phil.

Anyway, when pressed by the good doctor about why he won’t accept responsibility, this guy says, because responsibility “harshes my mellow.” I love this. Dr. Phil looked at him like he had three heads and asked, “What does that mean?”

But it’s pretty clear what it means, isn’t it?

“Could you turn off the vacuum, honey? It’s harshing my mellow.”

“Please turn off all cellphones before the meditation. Let’s not harsh anybody’s mellow.”

“I’m trying to relax and your jabbering is really harshing my mellow.”

I’m so stealing it …