Thanks so much for sharing.

A few moments ago I finished reading your column and found myself in both agreement and disagreement with your stand on the pageant circut and human sexuality.

The pageant circuit in my view sends the wrong message to women by suggesting that outward beauty is of greater importance than inner beauty. Many women struggle with depression as a result of their lack of confidence and displeasure with their physical appearance. In many ways, society imposes a false and superficial image of how the modern woman should look like, and this false image really undermines the real beauty of a woman. If I have the pleasure of having a daughter some day, I hope to instill in her the importance and primacy of inner beauty over outward beauty.

With regard to human sexuality, I could not disagree more with your position that women should embrace their sexuality almost instinctively because humans are sexual beings. As sexual beings, we need to be responsible as to how we use our sexuality and share it with others. I believe that human sexuality is most healthy and mutually rewarding in the context of marriage, as God intended. Sex outside of marriage, whether it’d be sexual intercourse with another person or self-masturbation, leads people to a false impression of the real purpose and meaning of sex, and makes people focus more on their own sexual needs rather than that of their partner. Marriage between a man and a woman is the manner in which two people can express their whole-hearted commitment to one another, and is in this context the man and woman become one.

Thank you for reading my comments.

Jeffrey, God mad sex and He created it to be beautiful. I’m sorry that you had to grow up believing it was bad.

I do want to remind you of the biblical heroes you mentioned and the consequences of their behaviors. Today we are still suffering the effects of Abraham and Sarah not being patient and trusting God about Sarah’s prophesied pregnancy: the descendants of Sarah’s and Abraham’s maid Hagar and her son Ismael represent the fighting today between the Israelis (descendants of Isaac, Abrahams son) and Palestinians (descendants of Ishmael, Hagar’s son).

King David’s family woes are well documented through the Old Testament as his many wives represented many, many heartaches for him. Same with King Solomon.

So before you go flapping the sheets of any potential “maidens” just think about the consequences that could follow!

God the creator of sex, knows what’s best for his human creatures…which is why I trust HIS way for sex and not our own. Every single commandment God made is for our good!

I went the masturbation route, and had short-lived affairs with men. But I was tired of the contradictions of being a committed Christian and living hypocritically. What I learned is that sexual desires can be controlled through training your mind – avoiding those things that make you horny in other words – and finding things to keep that mind busy. I’ve had much success with that route and have been celibate for 5 years (divorced for 15) and that is celibacy even from masturbation.

It can be done and a person doesn’t have to be sexually deprived in the process. You just don’t linger in your thoughts about it!

With all due respect, Carlotta, might I ask what a sexual being is supposed to do if he or she is not married and well into adulthood? That’s the essence of the Christianity disconnect. Because if someone is a “good” Christian, age 42, not married, not self-pleasuring and therefore pent-up, I don’t think I want to be around that person. It’s just plain unhealthy.