I recently told a medium that I hate sounding like one of those annoying people whose ship is always coming in, but I feel like I’m on the brink of something. Here’s his response:
“Your ship is already in. You need to take the freight off.”
As Joey Tribbiani might say, “Whoa.”
That was May 11, a month ago today, and trust me, I have spent much of the last month pondering what the heck that freight is.
Now, I’m happy to report, I’ve got it. The freight was my old way of thinking. That has been making its way out of here, escalating the last week like I can’t tell you. Good riddance, man. Take a hike.
But wait. Let’s delve in to this a little.
One of the tools I recommend to my clients is Morning Pages a la Julia Cameron. Three pages of stream of consciousness writing each morning. For me it’s best in a plain spiral notebook accompanied by a cup of coffee. Cameron doesn’t recommend going back and reading them necessarily, as they are not about ‘the writing.’ However, on occasion I find insights when I go back and read them, as I did this morning.
I’m going to do something here that I rarely do – share some thoughts from my raw MPs so you can come along on this journey with me. On May 8, just days before seeing the aforementioned medium, I let the thought stream come out in bullet points (almost never happens that way) and here’s a bit of what channeled through me to the page:
~ I am alone and it’s OK right now with regard to building whatever it is I’m building. I feel like it has to be this way. My visions and feelings and purpose – all mine to figure out. No one else needs to sign on. It’s OK.
~ Trust in self is growing.
~ My ship is coming in, so to speak.
~ I’m supposed to keep doing what I’m doing. My only resistance is around my own conventional thinking. I can keep pushing through that because it gets easier.
~ Not everyone is going to understand and I have to be OK with that. Remove ego.
~ I’m doing OK not focusing too much on the ‘how.’
~ My life is good. On my terms.
~ Brand. Brand. Brand. Consistency of message sounds better. Authenticity. Keep at that. Be more vocal. Take chances.
~ Keep paying attention to ways to bring myself ‘back.’ To stay steady. To love when I’m feeling frustrated or annoyed at another’s inability to communicate.
~ Pay attention to my strengths. Don’t dwell in my weaknesses.
~ Keep reaching out to get pockets of wisdom. In marketing. In writing. In exposure. Stuff that fits.
~ Keep on.
Those are raw. I didn’t edit them to share them here. I realize they may sound cryptic in spots, but that’s going to have to be OK because I’m not ready to share what I’m building yet. It’s a work in progress and I don’t want to build it by committee.
Jumping ahead to today’s MPs, this month later, here’s what came tumbling out (not in bullet points this time!) into my lime-colored notebook:
Ha. I’m free.
I. AM. FREE.
It’s official. Just like that.
Me and a team of fabulous people in my tribe are going to blow this thing out. I have never felt so sure-footed about anything.
I hasten to add here that the sure-footedness stems from realizing every freakin’ thing I’ve done, thought, experienced, agonized over, exulted in or conceived seems to be coming together. It feels powerful. Take note that what poured out of my subconscious a month ago was ‘alone’ and now it’s ‘team’ and ‘tribe.’
And yet the ship is so much lighter. I am overflowing with gratitude.