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Please scroll down for this month’s message.


I recently heard, for the umpteenth time, someone tell a child he should enjoy his childhood because it would be the happiest time of his life. The way he said it, it did not come off like a throw-away line; he was serious. It gave me pause, partly because I disagree on a personal level. But it was more than a personal reaction. The life coach in me couldn’t help but wonder, “If you really believe that, what are you saying about the life you’ve created for yourself?”

At bare minimum, this statement is a remembrance of carefree, uncomplicated times, when there were no bills to be paid and perhaps few schedule demands (although with today’s children, that’s rarely true). So, OK, that’s understandable. Money and time issues can be stressful and even debilitating for anyone trying to live a reasonably productive life. But if you’re spending a lot of time truly longing to be 10 years old again, it’s not a bad idea to take stock of your life and try to figure out why.

For example, if being more carefree is important to your well-being, perhaps you should look into reducing your responsibility load. No need to sell your kids to the highest bidder or drop everything to join a traveling rock band. Nothing that drastic. But if you’re working like a nut to support a lifestyle that is more about keeping up than living the way you want, would a few less pairs of shoes be a big price to pay? Or reducing the Starbucks habit to one latte a day?

Surely if you’re waxing idyllic about elementary school, there is something from that life you can bring into your adult world. Is there some artistic passion you’re suppressing? What has fallen through the cracks? Do you just need to have more fun? Inject something creative into your daily or weekly routine? What did you like about your childhood? That you were always surrounded by friends? Or that you had plenty of blissful solitude? Plan more gatherings or take extra care to carve out more alone time, whatever the case may be.

There is something else to take into consideration — are you simply rewriting history and making things better than they actually were? According to New York magazine’s cover story on happiness this week, “Our imagination has an odd knack for Photoshopping things in and airbrushing things out, which is why we think that getting back together with our exes is a good idea …”

Maybe the big lesson here is, nurture your inner child. Or better yet, maybe it’s this — let the little kid in you come out and play once in a while. At the very least, you’ll smile more.

If you’re looking for professional, inspiring support in making specific life changes, consider Erin Weed for self-defense (; Mary Carlomagno for simplifying and de-cluttering (; or Mary Tafuri for holistic health counseling (