A friend was telling me this week that she has a second date with a nice guy tomorrow. Her friends, based on a photo, have told her she’s out of his league and that she should drop him.


By contrast, I have a second date tomorrow with a nice guy and I have entertained no opinions. It has taken a while to get here, but I don’t give a rat’s you-know-what what other people think of him. Not even people I love. I don’t know him myself yet. Why would I put a vote on the floor?

I told my friend she needs to set boundaries with her friends. I asked her if any of these people were involved in relationships and if they had indeed picked their significant others by themselves or by committee. I suggested she take it as fast or as slow as felt right.

Most importantly, I told her to be in the moment. This is good advice. I know because I am following it. It allows for exploration, flirtation, trepidation, exhilaration.

It’s good. I want her to experience that, too.