I’m not sure how to begin this one.
My second date with The Professor had its really good moments. But overall it made me sad. He is a good man. But it seems he is not my good man.
We had a “moment” early in the date that bothered both of us. We talked it out. Then, for me, there was another and then another. A second date shouldn’t be this hard, I thought. We have some basic differences that are a much bigger deal than I could have imagined. He’s not right or wrong. I’m not right or wrong. We are who we are. One of us would have to change pretty drastically to make this work. Sadly, I believe this adds up to incompatibility.
When I returned to Hoboken at about midnight last night, I immediately called a dear friend as I walked back to my apartment from the train. I was upset and needed to talk. Blessedly, he was on his way back from the city himself and arrived a short time later. He listened well and gave me insightful feedback. He let me see that, despite my insecurities in that moment, I am on a good track and that I am lovable and loving and loved.
This was such a source of joy I cannot tell you. To be enveloped this way and shown my own goodness and beauty at a time of self-doubt.
I will feel the ripple effects of The Professor for a while, I suspect. I am so much closer to manifesting a wonderful relationship with a good man. He has opened my eyes to all kinds of things.
In a gesture of faith, I bought a Christmas ornament today that is a beautiful, sparkly frog with a shiny gold crown on its head. Yes, that prince is coming.