Greetings All —
As we March toward spring, I’m excited about a few updates on my website. First, I was quoted in a Philadelphia Inquirer article (Feb. 19) titled, “A steady, six-step process toward letting go.” Check it out on my Press page.
Also, so many of you have commented on the value you get from these newsletters — Thank You! The Newsletter page on my website, which previously had only the most current edition posted, now contains an archive of past newsletters. If you’ve missed one, take a peek.
Please scroll down for this month’s message.
If you were new to the English language and someone called you lazy and you looked it up in the dictionary and you read, “resistant to work or exertion; disposed to idleness,” you wouldn’t sit up straighter and listen harder, would you?
Dr. Phil recently gave his special brand of frank talk to an attractive single woman who was a working professional, a homeowner, and, as it were, engaged to a mooch. “I think you have gotten just as lazy as he is. You’re in a relationship that requires nothing of you … You don’t have to be sharp, cute, clever, interesting, engaging … It’s like a pair of old shoes that you wouldn’t really wear anywhere, but they’re awfully comfortable at home. Right?”
Now that use of the word does make you sit up a little straighter and listen a little harder, doesn’t it? That’s because that one exchange captured the kind of nuance in the word “lazy” that often escapes us. Unless someone is talking about a lazy summer day, the mention of the word usually sends up a red flag. The thing is, it often sends up the wrong red flag. Being lazy doesn’t necessarily mean we need to overcome couch potato tendencies; what it often means is we need to overcome fear.
“Much of our fear is fear of a change in the status quo, a fear that we might lose what we have if we venture forth from where we are now,” says author Scott Peck in The Road Less Traveled.
That means in our work life, our relationships, our creative projects, our spiritual practices. It even applies in our appearance, as week after week we see makeover shows transform people from stagnant and stale to re-imagined, virtually reborn. Too lazy to shop for the right clothes and put on some makeup in the morning? Maybe. But more often it’s about the fear of the attention that new look might attract when we’ve worked so hard at being invisible or kooky or just plain comfortable.
So let’s say there’s an unemployed guy trying to make something happen in an area he feels passionate about and then there’s the guy who works 50 hours a week at a job he doesn’t like and isn’t challenged by. Which one is lazy? It kind of gives you pause, doesn’t it?
If you find yourself feeling lazy in some area of your life, take a closer, deeper look. If you’re repeatedly opting out of the gym because you’ll miss some TV time, that sounds like “conventional” laziness. But what’s behind that? Why are you stopping yourself from an obviously healthy choice?
There’s a good chance it’s about fear. Overcome that, one day at a time, and you will rise from mediocrity into that highly productive, blissful zone that is a lived life.
Life coaching is life altering. It jolts you into action. It helps you stare down fear. Is there a down side to that? Contact me for a consultation and let’s get to work!