Conversation with a centipede at 7:45 a.m.:

“Listen, I have to go to work now. Ever since I read that holistically you represent ‘forward movement’ I’ve become a little more tolerant of your presence. I know you’re here to remind me of my own progress. After all, you’re walking up the living room wall toward the very high ceiling. Up, up, up. Definitely moving in the right direction.

“So here’s the deal. I’m leaving now and I’ll be home around 3:30. You have free reign of the place until then. But then you must disappear. As long as you make yourself scarce by then, the Raid stays in the cabinet. Do I make myself clear?”

He has disappeared. He has spoken.