It had been working on me for days that people in this country seem either deeply engaged in food issues or completely lacking in understanding of them. So after I began writing about my own experiences with food addiction, news of the death of singer Amy Winehouse hit and before long the word ‘addiction’ was being thrown around with abandon and little respect.
Throw in some thoughts from Russell Brand, Howard Stern, Lady GaGa and the Dalai Lama on Master Chef and you get this:
Today’s Game Plan — Our Lack of Empathy for Addiction
As the daughter and the sister of addicts, I can agree that there may be a perceived lack of empathy for the struggle addicts face. However, I think you fail to acknowledge in your article that one of the reasons that there is a lack of empathy is that there have been too many things excused on behalf of addicts.
Alcoholics driving drunk kill people. Drug addicts kill people while driving under the influence. Or how about the reported cases of people being beaten or robbed for money to get more drugs? How about the decadent lifestyle that so many movie and television stars promote and make glamorous until they have become too offensive finally, or have become a burden to society whenever they go anywhere, or until they are found dead? There are events too numerous to count that have inured society to the reality of addiction.
Worse, there are events too numerous to mention that the famous, the politically connected, or the wealthy just have no rules or laws that apply to them.
If you want people to be empathetic, you honestly have to show that there are consequences. There has to be a balance, and there has to be a clear understanding that addiction is not an excuse for bad behavior. Addiction is a solvable problem. Addiction is not cancer, nor any other fatal disease for those who choose to work hard to solve it. The reason for the lack of societal empathy is that all too often addiction is used as a get out of jail free card, and that is a repulsive and morally offensive affront to conscientious hardworking people.
I have one food addict, one drug addict, one active alcoholic, and one recovering alcoholic, 20 years sober, in my immediate family. I have heard promises, excuses, had my heart broken a million times, and still help whenever able. I love my family members, but do not condone bad behavior or excuses, and I hate being told lies.
Thank you for the thoughtful feedback, Denise. Please let me be clear. I am by no means condoning bad behavior and I don’t believe it is at all easy to deal with the addictions of people we love. I don’t disagree with what you’re saying.
There is just too little kindness in our nation when it comes to understanding each other’s struggles and that is disturbing to me.
I so appreciate you taking the time to write.
The lack of empathy is simply from lack of understanding people who do not suffer from the disease of addiction have NO idea what goes on inside an addicts mine, speaking from personal experience for i am a recovering addict, the things i had done in active addiction really did not reflect on me as a person, the drugs had taking all control and i did what i had to so that i would not be sick, most of us addict were mentally and emotionally destroyed over the things we had to do to get ” one more.” I know for me I spiritually killed myself over the things i had done, which were things that i never thought i would do, in desperation addicts do what they feel they have to do so they can survive. Addiction is much like cancer it is an incurable brain disease and with proper steps and hard work it can be arrested
Thanks so much for writing, Danny. I so hope you are in place of healing and health.