When trying to explain to someone some months ago what is so special about Kevin O’Sullivan, I said, “He’s the kind of person you want next to you when the worst things in your life happen.”
Now he has died and I don’t know what to do with myself. Numb. Punchy tired. Crying. Mind whirring like a projector.
Kevin, where are you when I need you? You’re the one who helps me make sense of this shit.
I went to the river, a spot we both loved. So many beautiful and intimate words spoken there. I looked for answers in the seagulls, the water, the cloud formations, the stunning Manhattan skyline. I found none.
I let my iPod lull me, knew the sunglasses were hardly hiding my bloodshot eyes and streaming tears. Christina Aguilera was singing Bound to You and all I could hear was “I’ve opened up, Unsure I can trust, My heart and I were buried in dust … ” — all so true. I have, I did, it was.
An acquaintance I hadn’t seen in a while came by with her dog as I sat at the pier. She went to greet me and was stopped in her tracks when she saw my tears. She comforted and she listened as I babbled on about this man she didn’t know.
You sent her, didn’t you, Kev? It sure felt like you wanted to make sure someone was next to me.
I so had you pegged, you gorgeous Irishman. You knew it and you loved it.
Oh, what will I do?
Very beautiful and touching. I wish I could make sense of it for you. I wish somehow it was all just a bad dream. Your friends are all here for you, just like that acquaintance at the pier today.
Thank you so, so much.
To think, I remember feeling sad for you because I thought you were 50, unfettered, and single and you had never experienced love. Now I see, no sadness necessary- you have. The best kind of love. My thoughts are with you, Nancy.
Wow. So insightful and lovely …
Nancy,
My heart too is broken – (although I have no specifics on how Kevin was taken from us – nor will I ever understand why God would possibly take him from everyone so prematurely) – it is only consoled knowing that Kevin touched your soul as well….keep looking for him by the riverside – he is there and always will be. You sound like such an insightful soul – so glad your path crossed Kevin’s – even if for just a brief moment in time…
Lisa O’Sullivan
I really appreciate your thoughts, Lisa. Thank you.
I just can’t stop to read this!!!! Life is insane!!!!! Just sit at the end of the pier looking by the statue, I am just the other side of the ocean thinking of you!!!! Love you so much
I appreciate the support from across the ocean, Amandine. Thank you. It means a lot.
Words often fail at these times, but you have picked some beautiful words to tribute your friend. Find solace in the times you had, the talks you shared and the connection that will never be broken. Sometimes angels are called and we can’t see why….
Thanks, Mar. I so appreciate your thoughts.
I’m sorry for your loss. Such occasions remind us all to make the most of our time with those we love. Don’t miss an opportunity. And take more pictures.
I’m really touched by your comment, Timm. Thank you.